I have been reading quite a bit of people’s stories today regarding the new year, 2020. And, believe it or not, all the stories I’ve read have been very inspiring. Extremely positive. Very hopeful. And I pretty much wish for most of what I read for myself as well as my family. And in my businesses too.
I plan to continue reading stories regarding this subject. It makes me feel good. Happy and hopeful. And I like that!! It beats always feel down, deflated, or like a loser.
It is Very Easy for Me
I have no problem with being negative. I pretty much thought this way my whole life. It comes so naturally for me. Especially when it is something about me.
For example, I got a camera for Christmas. One I’ve wanted for a few months now. This past weekend I got online to read the manual. Oh man, it all seemed so complicated. Most went over my head. All I wanted was a point and shoot camera, but not one of those compact ones, they’re too difficult for me to hold on to.
Anyway, I laid there in bed Saturday night and started thinking about my new camera. Yes, I was happy that I got it! But then I started thinking about that dang manual. With so many different terms, that I read about, and how none of it had absolutely any meaning to me.
I started feeling as though I just wasn’t smart enough to learn this camera and all it could actually do that I should return my new camera and get one of those compact, simple point and shoot cameras. I actually felt my heart rate begin to rise. I couldn’t sleep. I was up all night. Not because of the camera itself, but because I let it work me up so bad.
My new camera is a point and shoot camera, which is what I wanted. But it has a lot of different settings for different types of pictures taken in different kinds of lighting. Not as simple as the smaller, compact point and shoot cameras.
When I mentioned it to my husband he said he had faith in me that I’d figure it out in no time, like I always do. How I’d become a pro at using it. I gave in. You see, I really wanted this camera, so, no I didn’t return it. I can learn how to work it, in time. I know I can.
Another negative habit of mine is, whenever someone is being nice to me, I find myself wondering what their motive really is. You see, my husband and I have befriended people in the past. And we’d help those that were in need of a step up. Well, often my husband and I wound up getting burned. In some cases, really bad. I finally stopped trying to make friends. I felt this way was better off then putting myself out there. And that is how I have lived for the last 18 or so years. Don’t get me wrong, I had acquaintances, but I’d never let anyone get too close.
Certain situations, I’ll play them out in my head, and yes those are 98% of the time, negative. I drive my husband crazy. He doesn’t naturally think this way. Thank goodness. He’ll often shed a more positive light on things, and it’ll help somewhat. While other times my version appears to be more realistic. And, unfortunately, I can be a very stubborn woman.
One Can Learn
Negative thinking comes to me so easily, it always has. But the reading of these articles got me to thinking about how I felt after reading an article or two. And how I liked that feeling. So to continue with that feeling as much as possible, I decided that I can learn these behaviors. That I can make a change. Will it be easy? Probably not, but I can look at this as a challenge. Just like with my new camera, I know I can learn it. I am savvy like that–something a friend of mine pointed out-as well as my husband.
I know I can’t change all of my thinking, and behavior at once. Common sense just tells me it would become too overwhelming. And usually, once I become overwhelmed I just give up. Using negative thoughts about myself. It’s automatic. So, I will start with one or two at first.
What I’ve Read
I go to school online, and this is where I read most of these articles regarding the new year 2020. Of course, 2020 is a new year, that is plain as day. Right? And let’s say, that 2019 wasn’t the best year for you, well that’s in the past. And for the most part, there’s not always anything you can do about it. So if there’s nothing you can do about, don’t carry it with you into 2020. It’ll only drag you down, and keep you from obtaining better for yourself for 2020. Leave it in 2019, where it belongs. Behind you. Accept it, make peace with it if you can, but let it go!!
For example, my father passed away this past summer. We did expect it, he had cancer, but I don’t care what people say, you’re never really prepared for it. We gave him a funeral he deserved. He served his country for 30+ years, and he was very proud of that, as he should be. So we had him a military funeral. It was beautiful, and I know he’d have really liked it. He’d have been very proud. But I can’t go back and change our relationship it. It was turbulent, to say the least. But he is gone now. And it is what it is. I can only hope to come to terms with it everything, and live the rest of my life, like I am sure he would have wanted me to.
Now let’s say you lost your job, and your still unemployed, or maybe you don’t care for the job that you found. It is, what it is., but this you can change.
Our youngest daughter quit a retail job, she was just really burnt out, and unhappy with her co-worker’s performance, a whole slew of things. Over a month she kept applying for jobs, and never heard back from them. Yes, she got quite discouraged. But she did eventually start looking again.
She found one job that she wound up quitting due to personal reasons. I tried getting her to continue to work there, but it was just too much for her. She quit, and her search began once again.
And she did find a job, a good job. One that gives you 4 days off for Christmas and then another 4 days off for around the New Year. All with pay. She didn’t give up–she couldn’t, she still had a car to pay for and she needed insurance in order to legally drive her car. Because she didn’t give up, she was able to change her circumstances. Do you see the difference in what can be left behind in 2019 or the change that you can make, for a better you and/or life in 2020?
2020 will be filled with new experiences and challenges. And with these, you can determine the ending result. Not in every single situation of course, but with those where we can change the outcome, we should. We deserve it! Some may be more challenging than others, but many challenges give us a chance to learn. To learn about ourselves and from that, you will grow. To learn what doesn’t work, and to change that. Do what makes you happy and what makes you feel good. When one likes the feeling they get, one is more apt to do it again. And then possibly again. It could become a habit, a good habit. What do you think? Has it been a while since you felt truly good about yourself, if ever?
One gal said that 2020 will bring many miracles into her life and her businesses. She wrote that if you say it, and then believe it, chances are very good of it happening. I’ve heard this before, if you believe in something, it will come true. Envision it! See good things happening in your life! See miraculous things happening to you, in your business, or your job!! Believe in this!!!
Thinking and behaving positively was popular in many of these articles as well. If you are like me, that takes some effort. A lot of effort. I’ll think negatively and then catch myself and I try to rethink my circumstances. Can I always rethink it? No, but that’s when I try to quit thinking about it and put it on a back burner if it’s possible and try again later on. I do this a lot when it comes to my writing.
A lot of people talked about settings goals and how they will make sure that 2020 will be the year they achieve them. I really struggle with the whole goal-setting thing. I often tend to overthink things. Making them more difficult than need be. Making it very discouraging. Setting myself up for failure, you could say.
Other times, I will try and look for an example. A step by step way in which to do something. Talk about your information overload. And you know what? More times than not, it wasn’t really that difficult at all!
2020 can be the year you get that job promotion. To become more successful. To complete that project you keep putting off. Determination can help you to become more successful if you want it bad enough. And I know many of you want to be determined to succeed in whatever you choose to do. You can do this, keep telling yourself that! Even when you do not believe it, continue to say it. You will eventually convince yourself that it is true. I know this because I learned this technique to use to calm myself before or during my panic attacks. It can be very comforting to tell yourself that you can do this.
I tend to get discouraged easily. But I am a stubborn woman. And I use this trait to my advantage. Especially when it comes to anything to do with my laptop, I almost always keep at it, even if I take break-put it on that back burner. I get so determined to figure it out. I won’t let it beat me. More times than not, I’ll win. And so can, you can do whatever it is you put your mind to. Please, believe that you can. Keeps saying this, say it a loud!
Many talked about loving themselves. It is ok to love yourself, to put yourself first at times. And not feel guilty about it so much. Unfortunately, I don’t usually have a problem with this unless it is something I don’t believe I deserve. My mother-in-law used to call that “stinkin-thinkin.” I believe there is a healthier way in which to do this. And in time, I will read up on it. I’ll share it when I do. 😉
Others said that they will succeed in their business in 2020. They are already envisioning themselves depositing a business check every month. I’ve tried this a couple of times. I’ll need to try it more.
Maybe you can actually see your business grow, and having to hire a person or two to get everything done. Possibly your finally able to get approved for that loan you have been needing. See yourself doing or having whatever it is, that will get you what it is you want! And be determined that no matter the setbacks, you will continue to carry on. Be an unstoppable force. Be who you’ve always wished or wanted to be.
Celebrate your successes, both big and small, it is a must, don’t rob yourself of that satisfaction. You do deserve it my friend. I deserve it, you deserve it!! Even if it’s treating yourself to a Latte, or paying that $2.50 to use the expressway one night to drive home instead of being stuck in traffic for 60 or 90 minutes-DO IT. It does not have to be something big. But do something nice to celebrate your success. Make the time, and run that bubble bath. Light some candles, put your cellphone in the kitchen and climb into that nice hot bubble bath. Close your eyes, clear your mind, smell the scent of your candles, and relax. Can you see it? I sure can. 🙂
I Could Go On
I most certainly can go on and on, on with everything that I read, but I do hope you get where I’m coming from. I want to be a better person. The kind of person that makes me feel good, as well as proud of who I am. Mistakes I made are in the past. Even the bad choices I made. But they do not have to define the person I am right now, today.
I am no longer that same person, and I can forgive myself. After 58 years, I deserve it. A lot of what has happened in the past has made you the person you are today. If you don’t care much for who you’ve become, then only you can change it.
Whether it’s big or small changes, take baby steps. And if you get side-tracked, that it is ok. Your not a bad, or stupid person. You are human. Be kind to yourself, but don’t give up! Never give up! Never give up on yourself. Even if you feel or think you don’t deserve it, keep telling yourself that you do, and eventually you will begin to believe it! Yes, I’m repeating myself.
None of the fancy clothes you wear. Or that expensive car you drive. Even your big house that you live in, none of that changes who you want to become. Only you can do that. And believe me when I tell you the ‘how’ will come to you. Ask a friend. Just don’t give up…EVER!
Podcasts are great to listen to! I started listening to them last year, Usually when I was doing housework. I’ll be honest though, real-life got in the way, and I eventually quit listening to them. I’ll be re-beginning in the morning
But the podcasts, that I found on YouTube, did help me. It helped me to see myself differently, and to see certain things differently. Podcasts taught me that it is ok to not always succeed in my first couple of attempts. But to not let it stop me. That I didn’t fail, I just found a couple of ways that didn’t work. I was learning.
Pick one, two or three things, and start from there. Accept that it won’t happen overnight. But do believe that whatever it is you want for your new year is possible for you. BELIEVE that. When you feel yourself slipping back into your old ways, find something to read that’ll halt that. Listen to that podcast. Sing along with your favorite song, sing out loud–if appropriate. LOL Or dance like no one is watching.
But You Have to Begin
You can begin right now, maybe when you are done reading this article or start tomorrow. But please begin. If you want to change, you have to begin. How will we accomplish any of our goals/promises/projects/behaviors/habits/things if we don’t begin? We deserve this. It is time to do what you want to for you. What makes you happy! You decide when is best for you to begin, ok? Just do it.
I don’t know about you but for years I’ve been living this way. I’m not saying I’ve always been sad, but my happy times were few and far between. I would even downplay any accomplishments as if so what. No big deal. Any dummy could do it. Well, I am not a dummy. I am not stupid. And neither are you!
Think about what you want, what you really want, or what you want to change. Keep it realistic. I mean, going to the moon could be a long shot. Not to mention extremely expensive. Now I’m not saying that you can not achieve this. Who am I to say what you can or can’t do. But I hope you get my drift.
You know yourself best. You may be able to work on several things at once. And great, I admire you! But for me, I know that one or two things are about what works best for me. Tell yourself not to overthink it, or make it complicated, just do it. Are you doing it right? Let’s say you will. BUT let’s also remember that if we fall short, it is ok. If you want to pout, cuss or throw a tantrum, go ahead do it. If that helps you to get it out of your system. Then do so, but then put it behind you, forgive yourself, no name-calling, (I’m really bad with that.) Then start again. And again, and again, and again. If that what it takes, then do it!!
Don’t worry that you will run out of time, or turn into a pumpkin at the end of the year. Heck 2020 is a leap year! So instead of 365 days, we have 366 days. Let’s make that extra day count!!!
366 days to be happier. To take care of yourself, find peace and decide to be content. Maybe you want to lose those last five or ten pounds, start working out, to slow down some, stop swearing so much, meditate, budgeting your money so you can raise your credit score, stop being so quick to anger, stop watching the news as often, or reading stories that leave you helpless feeling and not happy. Become more compassionate, listen more & talk less, letting go of your past, or that unresolved relationship–Let. It. Go. Pay more attention to the little things, appreciate what you have–believe me when I say this-there is most likely someone out there in a worse predicament than yourself. Begin journaling, embrace learning, be more creative, spend more time with your family and/or friend, find a balance in your life, be more understanding, finish the kids’ playhouse, start remodeling the kitchen, work hard for that promotion or bonus. As you can see, this is another thing I can go on and on with. This is only a handful of ideas. Embrace each and every one of those 366 days.
Start every day with a purpose. Big or small. Be intentional. Each day is like a blank artist’s easel. Focus on today and only today. And then paint away.
Maybe beginning your 2020 new year goals, with your partner or a friend can more helpful for you. You can bounce ideas off of one another. And you have someone for whom you can be accountable to. Or possibly you already know that this won’t be helpful to you. That’s ok, just begin finding out what works for you!
What It is You Want
Keep in mind that being happy is not a continual feeling like joy can be. Joy can be longer-lasting. Strive to be content with yourself, this is what is considered a constant. It is very easy to allow others as well as your surroundings to interfere with whatever it is you are working for. Accept this, and prepare for it. I have a friend that will walk away from negative people. As I’ve gotten older, I find that I do this a lot with rude people.
However, you choose to handle an unsatisfying situation, just do it. Don’t weigh yourself down with the “but what will others think?” You can be a saint and someone will always have something negative to say. Right? So if it is for your best interest, and you’re not physically hurting anyone, then do it. Of course, you can’t do something like this with your boss, co-worker, etc., so be prepared.
Has any of this helped you in any way? Man, I sure hope so. Things I’ve read sure has. It is those articles that lit the fire under my rear end to write this article. I say we need more motivating articles, media, etc like what I read today. Just today I found and read these articles. Imagine if I read or listened to one or two to start my day, every day? It could set my mindset. It could set me up for a good day. To become happier, more successful One where I could be more productive. Quicker to find solutions, or easier to express to me.
Plan and Prepare
Last month I decided to quit cussing so much. Being raised in the service, and being married to a construction worker, I bet I could make a truck driver blush. I’m not bragging, just stating the facts, mam. 🙂 So I made a promise to myself to quit cussing. I have yet to make it through one whole day without cussing. And that’s ok. Why is it ok? I have cut down on my cussing, considerably! And, that is something that makes me proud. I could knock myself down negatively. But why? I’m cursing so much less than I was a month ago. That is a big change, especially for me! A big accomplishment for me. Do I still slip, of course, I do? I am not perfect, nor do I want to be. I just want to be happy and stop being so negative all the time.
Every day is new, and I can begin again. When I run into certain situations, that I know I’ll swear, I need to prepare myself. Maybe find a different word to say…something like ‘on snap’, or ‘forget you.’ To tell myself to STOP cussing!!!
Our oldest daughter posted something on Facebook that got me to thinking-“Stop giving a damn about things you have no control over, and focus on yourself.” It made me think of what a waste of my time for me to think about issues I have no control of. If I have no control over certain issues, then I can not change them. If I were to use the time on issues I can control, and that I can change, wow, how many of them could I accomplish? Just think about it. It kind of blew me away.
So besides me quitting swearing, I am going to stay away from those that are negative. From experience, there are usually no words you can say to these negative people that would yield you good results. It’s a waste of time. Grant some we have to put up with, our boss, co-workers, family and such. All I just want is peace.
Decide for yourself that this is not how 2020 is going to be for you. You are starting anew. A blank slate. You can make changes, you will make changes, and you will gain more control of your life. Your happiness. Your joy and peace of mind!
I stopped watching the news a long time ago. I had spent months in bed, crying at times and not knowing what I was crying about. It was shortly after 911. I couldn’t help but wonder, those that perished that awful day and how they would exchange places with me in a heartbeat if they could lie in bed and cry for no reason. Or embrace their children. To kiss their husband or wife once again. That got me up and out of my bed. If I wasn’t going to live for me, then I would live for them, cause they no longer could. I was blessed.
It was a long process for me, but I made it. I am a fighter, and I learned what to stay away from or not do. And one was watching the news. That was very toxic for me. To sit and hear what atrocious things humans can do to one another. Or what an adult would do to a child. It was disgusting. I felt so dang helpless, cause there wasn’t one thing I could do about. I mean I could make sure it wouldn’t happen at my house, or to my family. I had more control here at home. Many disagree with my decision, but I was desperate to get well again, and that was a choice I had to make for myself. Your thought about that is just that, your thought. I will continue to block what negative people or situations in my life that is feasibly possible.
You know, when I am around someone who is nothing but negative, I can only be around them for so long? Otherwise, I begin to feel all nervous and fidgety. Sometimes I feel as though I am going to throw up. I physically get ill-feeling. Why on earth should I put myself through that? I shouldn’t and I usually don’t. But it is also very easy for me to join in on the negative banter. It’s like it sucks me on in. I need to focus on that, and not do it. I have control over joining in or not.
There are other things, a lot of other things I want to work on, but slow and steady works best for me. Or as been said, ‘slow and steady wins the race.” Keep telling yourself that you can and will win your race. I plan to do some winning.
And I will be accountable for my actions. To each and every one of you. I hope you will join me on this journey. Please, leave comments below. What has or has not worked for you. Your goals, I won’t call then resolutions, but you can call them whatever you want. Let me know what you think of this article. I want to hear from you. Maybe one of us can learn from you.
I will write a list, here, of my goals or wishes. And I plan to update this article. Often. Come back and let us know what’s going on with you.
My Current Goals
As I stated above I am quitting cussing. I aim to make it one whole day!! I’m doing better with it than I had ever thought I could.
And I’ll begin removing negative situations and/or people from my life, it’s my other goal. I am hoping that succeeding at my goals, will make other goals more obtainable for me. I’m excited to start making the new year, 2020, a better, more fulfilling, and successful one.
It will start with me and spill over into my family, my life, and then into my businesses.
My Other Goals
Of course, as time passes I will be adding to my list. When I make more after I publish this article, I will add the date beside them, on the date, I added more goals.
My hope for you is that you decide that you do deserve better. You deserve to be happy. To be proud and content. 2020 will be your year. Again I ask you to share with us in the comments below!
- To quit rushing in about everything I do. Because I rush I have a lot of mishaps that happen. And once the mishap happens, I start in with the stinkin thinking. And let me tell you I can beat myself up and make myself get down on myself. But NO MORE!
- To stop focusing on other people’s fault. I listen to this one band, and they have a song that just says it all to me. Almost as if he wrote this song just for me. One of those aha moments. And I love music, it can take my mind off of almost anything.
- To begin a work out regimen.
- To read more articles regarding, whether it be on self-help, how-to, or learning. I have a bad habit of starting to read an article, and not even halfway through reading it, I click out of it. If I start reading something, will finish it. That I do when I’m reading novels.
- To eat healthier. I am an admitted junk food junkie. I am the pickiest eater I know. I need to eat better, especially since I’ve recently been diagnosed with Diabetes type 2.
- To keep my temper in check, and not getting on the defensive. Another horrible habit I’ve had for years.
- To stop seeing faults in others as well as in certain situations.
- To stop talking over others that I’m having a conversation and its rude. And finally, I have had this happen to me. Where someone talks right over me. And that kinda pisses me off. haha
- To pick up after myself.
This list is just a start. But I have already begun to have an awesome 2020. And I hope the same for you!
Here Are Some Helpful Links for Us
- How to Love Yourself and be Confident-with These 15 Tips
- How to Set Goals for the Life You Want
- I Am Affirmations
- Pic Monkey – How to Make a Vision Board (video)
- The Best Way to Make a Vision Board
If you have any good, helpful links, I’d love to add them to this list! Please, leave them below.
What a shame, what a shame,
To judge a life that you can’t change
The choir sings, the church bells ring
So, won’t you give this man his wings?
What a shame to have to beg you to
See we’re not all the same
What a shame
(which we’re going to see them in concert, for the second time!)