Are you single and dating? Or are you trying to date, but finding it extremely difficult to do? I hope you will find in this article something that may be useful for you.
I have a single friend who has been trying to find nice-looking men to date for well over a year now. It is not the same dating environment, from when we were younger. And that’s leaving a lot of folks overwhelmed, frustrated and alone/lonely, which can quite often lead to depression. Feelings of inadequacy. Anger, etc.
You Know What You Want
The one thing about dating at age 50 or older, is YOU NOW KNOW WHAT YOU WANT in your life. Or for that matter, what you don’t want!! We didn’t know all that when we were younger!
You now know more about yourself. When you were younger, you were still discovering just who the heck you were. You now know what kind of people you are interested in. And what types of people you want to stay clear of. We are a little bit more experienced and can usually spot the player. So, in a nutshell, we have more knowledge. And you would think with that knowledge would come more power, right? I have heard that this isn’t necessarily true in today’s dating world.
Where Do You Meet People?
Many single people find themselves wondering where do they even begin? This can be very stressful. Still, most single people want to find a partner or at least a friend. And believe it or not, I read where around 80% still go about doing this, the old-fashioned way—through family, friends, or co-workers. That percentage surprised me. Especially in today’s growing online dating websites! Which makes up for about 20% of how some single people find one another.
There are also offline matchmaking dating/services/get together/etc. I did not do much research on this kind of dating; is more local dating. Or possibly a nearby bigger city. But it might be something you would want to check out.
I hear a lot that there aren’t any honest men/women out there anymore. The whole dynamics of dating have changed. Some people are only looking to hook up, while others prefer the old-fashioned way. There is nothing wrong with getting to know one another first. As is there’s nothing wrong with only wanting to hook up.
The friend I mentioned above is not one of those looking for just a hookup. I’ve doing activities with you. Spending time getting to know one another is essential to her. Unfortunately, that seems to be something none existent today. Or possibly she is not looking in the right places. That, I genuinely don’t know.
Many people aren’t looking to raise a second family. They’ve already raised their family and are looking for a relationship where there are no small children or grandchildren they would have to help raise. I can understand that. To some, that may not even be an issue. But also keep in mind, that anyone 50 and over, will usually have a family, one that is grown up. And that they occasionally enjoy spending time with those family members. If you are open to those occasional family get-togethers, it just may work in your favor.
I’ve seen this happen more times than I can count. And within my own family, sadly. But, some are looking for a mate for monetary reasons. My father went through this very thing where one marriage was with a woman that was only interested in his income and not necessarily him. In total, he lost close $250,000. Possibly more. And that is just an estimate. I have heard many horror stories from so many people. But, I also know a few couples that their main reason for getting together was for financial reasons. It makes it so much easier when both partners learn this upfront.
I have found many do’s and don’t list, and I figured it would not hurt to share some of them here with you.
- Don’t expect a knight in shining armor or a queen/princess. Setting your expectations too high can lead to disappointments
- Don’t give up because of a few disappointments.
- Don’t lie—nobody likes a liar. And it’s never a good thing to do when trying to start a relationship.
- Don’t talk about your ex
- Don’t talk about yourself non-stop
- Don’t expect sex. Nothing is more unattractive than being made to feel like a piece of meat
- Don’t date as you did back in the 60s, 70s, and 80s
- Don’t worry about age
- Do be yourself. How will you find out if the person you’re seeing likes you for who you are?
- Do have fun
- Do leave your ego at home
- Do dress appropriately
- Do go to restaurants with friends. Other singles go to restaurants as well.
- Do go to the library
- Do start going out at night and or on the weekend
- Do stay open to dating those from all walks of life. As long as, you share similar interests or backgrounds, why narrow the playing field
- Do try to take classes. Perhaps golf. What man/woman doesn’t like a woman/man that has her own set of golf clubs?
- Do put yourself out there. No one will find you if you’re sitting at home, watching tv. So, put yourself out there, whether offline or online.
These are minimal lists. I would love to add your suggestions to these lists, so be sure to leave your do’s and don’t in the comment section below.
Tell me your story as well. Who knows, I may add it to my blog.
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I’m kind of comfortable with getting older because it’s better than the other option, which is being dead. So I’ll take getting older. — George Clooney