Coming down with anything can be a setback in your day to day life. Having a psoriatic arthritis flare-up can be one of those sets backs. For me, my flares are major. But having one without any pain medicine, that makes it a whole new ballgame. The thing is, I have only had one PsA flare-up since I quit taking my pain meds. This flare-up–with no pain meds whatsoever. These are uncharted waters for me, and that’s putting things mildly. But this was not my aha moment.
In years prior, when a flare would hit me, I would stay in a drug-induced haze (it is what I called it). As directed by my physician, instead of 1 pain pill, as needed for pain, I would be instructed to take two pain pills, when my flare up first hit. Then one pain pill every 4 hours. Eventually, I would be able to count down that dose. I never abused my pain meds, I hung onto them, for when a flare-up hit me. And no, none of this is my aha moment, either.
About two days after my flare-up began, I get a fever of 102.5. I feel on fire. And I believe I become a tad bit delusional. That last bit of info is more hindsight. Things my husband reminded me of, that I said, asked, or did-then. No more explanation needed. (keeping in line with some humor here)
Oh I Forgot to Mention
My husband and I were finally on a much-awaited, much-needed, much-anticipated vacation to Florida. Sunshine, beaches, plans with my dad, going dancing, fine dining, getting to see our oldest daughter. And just alone time for the hubby and me.
We did get around to taking dad out for dinner once. We made it to the beach once. And we got to spend a day with our wonderful, oldest daughter once.
I felt very responsible for ruining our vacation. No matter how many times my husband Tom had said, I hadn’t. I thought I had. And I agonized over it. I cried over it. The situation tormented me. Yeah, go ahead and say it. I had a big old pity party.
Long Story Short
I couldn’t sleep one night. Or maybe I had been sleeping and then woke up and was unable to go back to bed. Either way, I wound up in the living room.
And, I picked up where I had left off with my pity party. I got to add to my pity party mix; that fact, I couldn’t go back to sleep. And I was a bit bored too. Not the best combination for late-night entertainment, right??
And then it hit me. In the last 3 1/2 years that we’ve been regularly going to Florida, I’ve only had two flare-ups. That’s two flare-ups in over three years. Those numbers are pretty impressive when you think about it. To me, their incredible numbers!! How many times had I been able to go to the beach with my husband Tom and/or family in those three years plus? How many meals were we’re able to have with dad, and then some? Or the times we were able to spend with our oldest daughter in those 3+ years.
All of that then got me to thinking that I had survived my past flare-ups. Too many in total to count. But believe me when I tell you, there were many times when I thought they’d never end. But they had! Those flares had passed, just as this current flare will too. It, too, shall pass.
I felt myself begin to ease on the inside. My shoulders relaxed. I didn’t even know my face was taut, but after this aha moment, it wasn’t feeling taut anymore. My head also cleared. I could focus on it. Mind you, I still hurt, and I still had a fever, but the world wasn’t coming to an end. I was so disappointed about getting this flare up and fever. It again sucked, that it happened during our vacation, but this too shall pass. I felt calmer.
It was a positive feeling! I started feeling positive and thinking a little more positive. Oh, and that pity party, POOF–it was gone!
So There You Have It
My AHA moment. I tend to recognize more of these AHA moments, now that I am older. They seem a bit clearer too. I don’t know if that’s par for the course of getting older or not. Perhaps that could be material to contemplate for a future article?
I am a believer that how we react to things going on in our life, actually can predict what direction it will go. I’ve experienced this many, many times in my life. And many times, I have to have another AHA moment to remind me of that. I’m going to go out on a limb here by saying that this is normal. You know, having to be reminded of things. (smile)
I’m glad I got to share this little AHA moment of mine with you. Maybe it could help you in some way. Or you could pass it along to someone that you feel it may help.
PLEASE feel free to share your AHA moments in the comment section below. You know I love hearing from everyone. From YOU!